Its me, for your eyes, through my eyes

...

2009-04-08T00:37:00.000-07:00

i saw (n felt) 1st hand, wat regret truly is...

...

2009-03-18T22:36:00.000-07:00

i wish i were a RAM...

tat way, my memories or u r purged when u switch off...

theres many things i've forgotten... n i wanna set of finding em back...

but ur shadow still shades my feet, n taints my smiles... n breaks my resolve...

...

2009-03-16T01:21:00.000-07:00

each time they said, 'i'm 1 of a kind', i guess it just means tat i'm an appetizer...

like how it has ALWAYS been...

tis worthless, costly, clingy "love"... has taken its toll...

...

2009-03-15T12:34:00.000-07:00

some ppl... just spills "i love you"... as often as e dispensing gumball machine...

...

2009-03-08T23:19:00.000-07:00

记得你叫我忘了吧...

i wonder if any of e "你" ever regrets...

...

2009-03-03T22:09:00.000-08:00

as much as i can't stand the sound of the watch ticking while waiting for you, e sound of your silence is MUCH much more deafening...

...

i'm sry, i just don't know wat i'm waiting for anymore...

...

2009-03-01T13:52:00.000-08:00

its MARCH now!!!

n a whole month since tis heart warming/wrenching/tiring saga started...

to top it up, cheapskate-ns-work is NOT relenting in its pursuit to make the best outta me =\

oh, i'm LCP as of today~

WOOOTZ!!! ZOMFGBBQWTF!!! 20 EXTRA BUCKS!!! =D

so comforting~

...

2009-02-17T21:06:00.000-08:00

FUCK~

...

2009-02-11T13:08:00.000-08:00

ima am falling apart...

...

2009-01-13T06:51:00.000-08:00

heres to MUSHROOM SOUP, CHIONG SUAH, n ALL THINGS NOT MINDEF~

"usually its e registry's job" is getting too universal =\

great~ ANOTHER example of life going e exact opposite way~

...

2009-01-04T01:10:00.000-08:00

i'm genuinely loved n cared for by my frens =)

sadly, all tat shdn't hav come from them...

if its frens at e top of e list tis year, den i'll gladly rank em there~

sadly tat whole crap doesn't even come close...

BIGGEST~ HEART FELT THANKS!!! to all u loveys =)

...

2008-12-25T23:03:00.000-08:00

my wish tis christmas, is tat my exsistance's erased from everyones memory...

den i can go to slp n have a well deserved rest =)

no tis ain't a suicide letter (post)~

its really just e simplest luxury i can ask for...

oh well, some my relatives n some really great frens have me binded from doing tat... so i guess it wun happen (anytime soon) =)

...

2008-12-17T00:12:00.000-08:00

heres to rascal...

greatest fren,
greatest comfort,
greatest companion,
greatest joy,
greatest teacher...

my regrets, tears, n sadness...

am glad u're in a better place now...

R.I.P. ...

...

2008-12-02T13:36:00.000-08:00

SIGHHH HHH HHH HHH HHH HHH HHH HHH HHH~

life sucks =(

...

2008-11-07T09:34:00.000-08:00

tis is a LONG overdued post~

doesn't matter, nothing much to blog about anyway...

slothing~ n tiring~

!@#$%^&*()_+

losing myself here~

=(

...

2008-10-13T21:49:00.000-07:00

i'm back, more shag, more tired, less confident as ever...

...

2008-09-22T20:59:00.000-07:00

seems like i only get to smile genuinely a few days a year...

...

2008-09-15T18:13:00.000-07:00

all tat identity crisis in e past has finally come to an end (hoooray?)...

with me declaring myself...

a LOSER n a NOBODY in life~

n its kinda comforting to know tat i've at least fallen into an ordinary catagory...

...

2008-09-14T12:21:00.000-07:00

sometimes, i just feel like ruling e world~

tat way, its legitimate for me to feel empty n singular, but still appear humane...

puffy fluffy itchy eyes, wish i cld shut u down for now...

...

2008-09-11T12:32:00.000-07:00

i know tis is (considered) long overdued, but...

POC LOOO~

=D

...

2008-09-07T10:31:00.000-07:00

2 more days to POC (passing out ceremony, incase u peeps don't know, tats for pes cs).

gosh its 7 weeks already ahaha =)

i've definitely grown alot more patient with my family problems, n money managed abit.

n YES!!! i've definitely toned up n slim down abit =D (with no thx to e regime they set, but partly with to e NUMEROUS free time i have)

must maintain~ must maintain~ must maintain~
must maintain~ must maintain~ must maintain~
must maintain~ must maintain~ must maintain~

hopefully i get a slack unit; stayout, n all e more better =) can source for moonlighting oso =x kekeke oh well, block leaves ahead, n so's bintan =D

yeah can't WAIT~

...

2008-08-24T11:29:00.000-07:00

its down to e last 2 weeks of shit, with e up n coming one being totally hell bound...

den, its GOODBYE MY PUDEN~ most notorious JC elitist i've ever met, with e worst of attitudes n zero compassion =\

oh well, who ever said bmt's fun?

...

2008-08-10T15:03:00.000-07:00

bcos u made e past 3 days so wonderful, e whole 2 weeks waits worthwhile =)

another 2 to go, wun u do e same again den?

...

2008-08-08T00:02:00.000-07:00

ima back from 2 weeks of shit n in for 4 1/2 weeks more~

body clocks screwed, n much rest needed, but just not enough time =(

on e lighter note, made some great buddies in camp~

n seeing u tonite makes e whole 2 weeks wait worthwhile =)

...

2008-07-25T00:00:00.000-07:00

its 12am n its (finally) e 25th!!!

enlistment, e 201st post, n probably a new milestone in life =)

to all u peeps care n concern, its only 2 weeks~

considering e amount of shit i've been through, it wun b tat hard on me. REALLY!

n to YOU =) maybe i will grow up more in tis new chapter, n probably in e aspect of our relationship~ bu tat leaves to b seen...

takecare! YOU n everyone else =)

cya all in 2 weeks!!!

...

2008-07-22T23:24:00.000-07:00

love is patient?

no.

love is ABSOLUTE.

but even a glowing heart gets weary n loses its shine...

i'm dead tired...

...

2008-07-22T14:12:00.000-07:00

TIRED~

!@#$%^&*()_+

tat said, i feel much better =)

pls get well you-know-urself~ ^^

...

2008-07-20T03:34:00.000-07:00

all smiles! ALL SMILES!!!

=D

its wat keeps me charged~

...

2008-07-17T15:10:00.000-07:00

mambo is just boring~

its 8 days away from NS n i'm still not feeling e jitters...

somethings not right here =\

...

2008-07-16T12:56:00.000-07:00

Twine shall my laughter, and sorrows...

But alone shall my immaturity =)

...

2008-07-14T00:07:00.000-07:00

"sometimes, i feel like i'm gonna die soon" (courtesy of theodore)

sigh~

n it took me a whole hr just to come up with tis post...

...

2008-07-13T02:00:00.000-07:00

guess wat, its another ARGHHHHHHHHH~ post...

seriously, i'll NVR feel gd about myself, EVER~

period~

...

2008-07-10T01:30:00.000-07:00

...

2008-07-02T23:11:00.000-07:00

for all e miles between, n e ulu-ness u're in, i just want u to know, tat no matter how far apart e distance we may be physically, i'll b a lighthouse, shining my light for u, guiding u with my warmth...

n it doesn't just stand for today or stormy sessions, i'm there, on e rocks, 24/7, shining on like 7/11 =)

u're dearly missed, n pls get well soon =(

...

2008-06-30T15:33:00.000-07:00

argh...

...

2008-06-26T17:27:00.000-07:00

i swear todays e BUSIEST work day ever =(

but knowing i'm in ur mind ever so often just pulls me through =)

...

2008-06-25T11:16:00.000-07:00

waking up in e morning can b such a drag =(

...

2008-06-24T22:49:00.000-07:00

weird it seems, tat its always e last week of a particular job tats always e most fun =\

sad, just when iw as warming up to certain ppl around =(

oh well~

...

2008-06-23T23:33:00.000-07:00

i feel so much closer to u now =)

but its still pretty much me for alienating "tat" possibility i guess...

...

2008-06-23T00:28:00.000-07:00

its an exceptionally long sunless sunday today...

...

2008-06-22T16:12:00.000-07:00

theres finally a slight drizzle after 3 weeks... but i'm sure i can make it through tis.

n i'm sure we will together =)

...

2008-06-22T12:30:00.000-07:00

eye drops, a long walk, slices of cheesecakes, n a "talk" about love~

tickles my senses n rattles conscious~

...

2008-06-21T04:36:00.000-07:00

u surprise me, in more ways den i cld've ever imagine =)

though undeserving of me...

but since u deemed me worthy, hence i will be, for u =)

...

2008-06-20T09:47:00.000-07:00

tis is e up n coming "MUST WATCH", even if u didn't show me e poem =)

n i want YOU to watch it with me =x

...

2008-06-19T12:13:00.000-07:00

*ROARS*

=(

...

2008-06-18T23:44:00.000-07:00

imma can't help but blame myself for letting e weather n heavy load bog me down n affecting e time we have...

still, thx, for understanding n accommodating me. ur presence alone deflects loneliness far, far away =)

i've learned, n i'll do better from now on...

...

2008-06-18T01:13:00.000-07:00

i hope its fine sunny weather for us today =)

PLSSSssssss~ benny will b a gd boy at work > <

...

2008-06-16T14:40:00.000-07:00

heres e result of a rather "silly" test i was asked to take =x

--------------------------------------------------------

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Quality Time
with a secondary love language being
Physical Touch.

Complete set of results

Quality Time:		10
Physical Touch:		9
Words of Affirmation:		6
Acts of Service:		3
Receiving Gifts:		2

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

--------------------------------------------------------

kinda true though, but e questions can get pretty repetitive =\

...

2008-06-16T03:07:00.000-07:00

15th june isn't just special for u anymore =)

its also special for me, coz its when i made it special for YOU~

...

2008-06-15T11:09:00.000-07:00

its just all smiles these days =D

to tat vry special person on tis vry special day, u're thoroughly rmbed, from head to toe, n ur inner aspects =)

time doesn't needa stop for us, it just needa bring forth e rite moments =)

...

2008-06-14T13:42:00.000-07:00

oh no... tat feeling n urge is coming back...

no no no!

gotta brush it off~

like, NOW!

=\

...

2008-06-12T23:40:00.000-07:00

i choose to believe in a bleak future, because u showed me how to smile for sadness, n tear for felice...

yes i'm a fool, but i believe coz u're REAL =)

...

2008-06-10T09:12:00.000-07:00

enjoying every single waking moment of it =)

lalala~

imma guess imma shdn't b thinking too far...

for once i just might FINALLY b dreading enlistment =(

*bleagh*

how i wish i can get tis day freaking done n over with in an instant blink~

...

2008-06-08T11:53:00.000-07:00

omg u're here!!! =D

n hoooray to everyone else in my usual clique =)

benny wenny ish HAPPY!!!

...

2008-06-07T03:25:00.000-07:00

kungfu panda puts a whole new meaning to plot twists~

n so is: "The past is history, the future is a mystery, now is a gift... That's why it's called the Present."

sweeet~ =)

too bad e mystery parts kinda hard to accept though...

...

2008-06-06T12:43:00.000-07:00

feeling so lala bout everything now =)

nt bad~ for a change =P

...

2008-06-05T17:50:00.000-07:00

i had e BEST slp ever (in awhile) last nite =)

...

2008-06-04T02:24:00.000-07:00

i'm going up again in sticks n glue~

shall it crumble b4 e adhesive kicks in, its back to square 1...

not like i've not ride on such chances b4, but i guess i'll just enjoy every single waking moment of it =)

...

2008-06-01T10:33:00.000-07:00

tis is for WALKING HOME FROM ORCHARD, PAYDAY, n for NARHEAAAAAAAAA!!!

ARGHHHHHHHHH!!!

not so much so after u've gotten woke up from a mere 4 hours of slp by e funeral drums n 2 old fools quarrelling =(

...

2008-05-29T09:55:00.000-07:00

things r going great recently =) other den e fact tat pays not in yet =(

bummer~ due date for my bills today =(

so screwed can~

...

2008-05-27T02:35:00.000-07:00

sometimes, its e most aimless of meetings, tat makes a hangout more worthwhile =)

to hell with "sianz, find something to do lei~" n "for wat we blah-blah-blah?".

...

2008-05-24T22:17:00.000-07:00

i'm pretty sick of my wardrobe...

wat i REALLY likes a minority >=(

n worst of all, it doesn't lead to NARNIA =(

enroute e shopping trail next weekend~

...

2008-05-23T01:41:00.000-07:00

sometimes... its e tears tat won't flow, tats hurting u e most...

...

2008-05-22T16:55:00.000-07:00

Mr. Nerdy gave me PEPSI!!! =D

...

2008-05-20T23:23:00.000-07:00

it seems like every long bus rides emo-agony =\

gyms great, so's e jog =)

n my beloved nano failed on me (again) =(

...

2008-05-19T11:49:00.000-07:00

i wanna b alone, but i hate to b lonely =\

...

2008-05-18T02:14:00.000-07:00

i just bought a 99 BUCKS FUCKING GAY CAP!!!~

it reads "Everything happens to me", which is sooooooooo FUCKING GAY-LY ME =\

not impulse, no regrats!!! =D

i'm so glad mommy CAN'T use e net~

...

2008-05-17T01:44:00.000-07:00

its a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG day today~

wat was tat again? "No one looks at each other anymore." or something, IS SO DARN TRUE, its scary...

POTATO LAND (CALBEEE~) ish teh eye opener~

theres e nerdies,
e lame jokers,
e heavily accented bimbos,
n *surprise surprise~*, e SING-LANTS~

damn~ i wan some royce chocolate too =(

n benny wenny~ u don't fair well with plays, do stick to musicals! =D

...

2008-05-15T15:40:00.000-07:00

tis past work weeks been extremely busy, which might b a gd thingy~

but how long can i keep up?

College Play "Our Town" at RJC (can u SMEEELLLLLL e elitism) tmr, ALONE!!!

lonely emo piece of shit benny wenny =(

...

2008-05-12T10:09:00.000-07:00

fuck drunkard bachelor nitez r fun!!!

=D

WALAMAK~ tmr die~ =(

...

2008-05-11T20:27:00.000-07:00

benny woke up from a hurtful dream, n carries on with e painful reality...

sometimes, blue skies with single, dissipated clouds, r much more beautiful =)

...

2008-05-10T01:58:00.000-07:00

"It must have beeen loove~" keeps creeeeeping about my hollow skull~

anyway~ well... i've pretty much buried u 6 feet under, UPRIGHT~, coz i suppose ur head just stubbornly wun go under~

lousy spade n a sympathetic undertaker =(

time to plant some 'benny' seeds around u... mommy needs a harvest soon~

...

2008-05-08T11:04:00.000-07:00

looking through some of e pics taken back in nov 06yr - sept 07yr, benny wenny has grown up considerably... sadly, e old benny he THOUGHT he KNEW died last year sept...

R.I.P.

Benny Wenny

2000 - 2007

n looking back at e 1st half of e year thus far, he's pretty much wasted e whole bulk of it...

pursuing DREAMS, so as to "LIVE FOR MYSELF"... has been tiring...

on a lighter note, my aircons finally working in weeks since e beginning of tis freaking heatwave =D

talk about damage control~

...

2008-05-06T20:14:00.000-07:00

its so fucking busy today, it just makes things even worst n unbearable...

...

2008-05-05T08:51:00.000-07:00

benny wenny shall list down e list of "illness" n "disorder" he's suffering:

1. Chronicle Fatigue Syndrome.
2. Mild Depression.
3. SERIOUS Inferior Complexity.
4. Insomnia.

...

zomgkthxbye!

...

2008-05-05T00:11:00.000-07:00

e weather may b HOT HOT HOT as hell (literally)...

but e hearts chilled below zero =(

finding stuffs to occupy my mind tis coming week...

kurushi da ne ben chan... ?

...

2008-05-04T03:32:00.000-07:00

...

...

2008-05-02T10:10:00.000-07:00

yikes~

e brains fucking SCREWED!!!

=(

man working nvr felt so hard...

...

2008-05-01T23:31:00.000-07:00

NO MORE EMO ENTRIES BENNY WENNY!!!

i so hate myself...

...

2008-05-01T01:13:00.000-07:00

sick, literally...

needing a hug...

but in reality, needing a dying hug...

so tat i can rmb when i pass, is there being someone genuinely loving me, caring for me...

selfish bastard aye?

...

2008-04-29T21:17:00.000-07:00

i have a weak heart...

it just runs away every so often, n falls n breaks itself...

well, e threads holding each piece to e souls getting weak n weary...

n so is e mind tats always trying to deny e heart reality...

...

2008-04-28T09:34:00.000-07:00

dressed like a weekend clubber, but infact, its just work on monday~

wats more, its sentosa =\

*sigh sigh sigh*

comeon~ whos filling in?

...

2008-04-28T01:00:00.000-07:00

feeling rather light headed~

for all those hours, it was fun n carefree =)

but yet...

when loneliness creeps in...

its just me against e whole world again...

*sigh*

...

...

2008-04-26T02:04:00.000-07:00

back from a week of Food & Hotel Asia 2008 (FHA 2008)!!!

fun as hell, although its tiring like mad =D

blur me with rather many screw ups =( but generally well received by everyone =)

maybe its just e australians, n e atmosphere they generated, for ppl to really appreciate me for once? or maybe its e coffee... hmmm...

either way, 3 strands of hair added =)

weird looking...

but its freaking cheap!!! n its done =P

...

2008-04-19T16:06:00.000-07:00

todays probably 1 of e worst days of my life...

sry guys if i'm totally annoying today...

...

2008-04-17T23:26:00.000-07:00

enlistments 25th july, bmtc school 2, 7 weeks of modified bmt (for e weaklings)...

heres e general plans till then:

-with sentosa till end of june.
-possible mc bday celebration.
-definite needed overseas trip.

at 21 tis year, its too late to change anything... lamenting my fate seems unpractical, but its all i can do for e rest of my life...

throwing tis life away seems rite...

...

2008-04-17T00:52:00.000-07:00

benny wenny, it has come to e time tat u're literally by urself IN UR OWN WORLD...

theres just no 1 to spill out on, or find comfrot from anymore...

tired tired tired... each breathing moment is a conscious torment...

...

2008-04-16T14:00:00.000-07:00

singapore flyer~ FUN~ cam whoring machine =D

its back to work at SIANtosa~ cashier office, so NOT tat boring =P

GST OFFSET! PAYDAY! EXTRA JOB!

camera seems so near now =D

kekeke can't wait!

...

2008-04-13T00:40:00.000-07:00

my my "FATHER~" wat vengeful spirit u have~

even slptalkings all about "FUCKER~" ...

n "CHEEBYE LAH~" ...

how i wish i can love u for tat cuteness but my apologise on tat =(

enough IS enough...

...

2008-04-12T16:31:00.000-07:00

new haircut looking gd =)

issues with life =\

gotta learn a few things:

1. Don't Make Someone A Priority When You're Just An Option.
2. Be More Understanding.

...

kinda hard rite ?

...

2008-04-08T23:03:00.000-07:00

bummer bummer bummer~

everything else's a facade =(

only gd sex is reality =D

sadly tat doesn't happen often either =(

...

2008-04-03T01:37:00.000-07:00

i swear sentosas FUCKING creepy to the max =(

break time~ (finally)

mooolahs in short supply =(

...

2008-03-31T22:12:00.000-07:00

*tap tap tap tap tap*

...

*tap tap tap tap tap*

...

*TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP*

IS ALL I EVER HEAR TIS DAYS!!!

lifes a fucking fucked up !@#$%^&*()_+ screwed up sucky yucky pissifying...

wheres e will to live now?

=\

...

2008-03-25T17:07:00.000-07:00

its sick to know tat u still have 128k tickets to tap 1-BY-1 till next week of so...

its not any better when ur boss dresses for geylang n nags non-stop =(

wat about some frenS who think tat LURV is more important den frens, tat he can abandon em as n when he feels like it?

sucks sucks SUCKS~

now hurry up thursday, time for tis weeks itsugo already =D

...

2008-03-23T00:09:00.000-07:00

friendships AIN'T common like a speck of dust mind u~

n NO, theres NO ONE living on a speck of dust...

unless u're a fucking elephant, den tats a whole new story~

...

2008-03-16T13:12:00.001-07:00

popcornpop roadshow at suntecs BORING boring =\

...

2008-03-13T22:59:00.000-07:00

once again...

FUCK~

on top of tat...

FLU~

FUCK~

prerequisites to a suicidal weekend~

n wat? u're too busy for me too? i know i can't complain since its ur private life but WAT E HECK???

...

2008-03-08T23:54:00.000-08:00

back to sentosa~ not as delighted as b4 though...

tis nite sucks~ everythings just not going according to wat i wan lah =\

for once in those bloody blue moons i find my frens bloody hell "din deh" n irritating...

so much so for work tml~

n YOU~

FUCK YOU~

...

2008-03-02T11:11:00.000-08:00

melbournes boring =\

zouks fun =D

no more sentosa =(

n ck underwears sexy n comfy =)

hows tat for a summary? kekeke

...

2008-02-12T09:50:00.000-08:00

tis year, aren't gonna b any better den e past...

i'm just full or regrats, remorse, depress...

it seems like tis life, is nvr gonna b e 1 want...

not even 1 bit...